Not Your Average
by xxGREEN BAYxx
Summary: Chapter 7 up! About Lily and James...James had never really noticed Lily. So what happens after they run into eachother on the train?
1. New Beginning

Chapter 1- Lily Evans, (5th year at Hogwarts) prudent and punctual student, was late. "Mum, will you hurry up? First day and I'm already late!" "Lily, will you shut the hell up?" "PETUNIA!!!" screamed Lily's mother. "I don't EVER want to hear such language from you again, do you hear me?" Petunia walked away, not really caring. "Besides Petunia, why do you care?" said Lily. "It's none of your business." "Alright, no need to get in a strop just because you're late for another stupid shag with whats-his-face. Oh yeah, sorry, Vernon." Replied Lily in a mocking tone. "Shutup you prat!" "Lily Aurora and Petunia Serene, WILL YOU BOTH JUST PACK IT IN???" screamed their mum. "Sorry mum" they replied, not actually sorry at all.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"God, mum. Hurry up." "James Tristan Potter, keep quiet! I'm almost done." "Sorry mum." God I hate this. Will mum just get a flamin move on? James Potter was a 5th year at Hogwarts. Not your average Mr. Smart Arse. Was what people called a "ladies man". James' mother finished putting on her makeup, and called his father. "Harry, we are going to be late and we can't have James missing the train!" yelled Sarah Potter, James' mother and Harry Potter's wife. "Oh yes we can." muttered James. "What was that?" said Sarah. "Nothin mum."  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lily reached the station, kissed her mum and dad goodbye, and hurled one last insult at Petunia before running through the barrier. When she got through, she ran smack into someone.rather someones. "Oh I'm terribly sorry, I'm so clumsy, i." but Lily's apology was cut off as she looked up and saw three people staring down at her.  
  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A/N Hey, first fanfiction EVER so please rate and review. I'll try to have the second chapter up soon. Thanks!  
  
-Jen so-tight 


	2. Surprises and Giggles galore

Chapter 2- Surprises and Giggles galore  
  
Review from last chap: "Oh I'm terribly sorry, I'm so clumsy, i." but Lily's apology was cut off as she looked up and saw three people staring down at her.  
  
"Hi, my name is Sirius, I think you're hot..will you go out with me?" said Sirius, not even remembering that he didn't know her. Sirius Black was one of James' best friends and was part of the group called the Marauders.  
  
"Sirius!!!" said James with a surprised countenance (A/N see Katherine? Vocab word! ^_^) as he smacked Sirius over the head.  
  
"OW!!! What???"  
  
"ARE YOU CRAZY!!!!" roared James forgetting that Lily was on the floor.  
  
"Well she is," replied Sirius cockily, and winked at Lily. "So, how bout it? Out. With. Me?"  
  
"Uhm.." Said Lily  
  
"See you git? YOU SCARED HER YOU SMART ARSE!!!!" screamed James straight into his ear. "I'm really sorry, please allow me to apologize for him. I'm James, this is Sirius, and that's Remus." He said as he pointed each boy out. "Don't mind Sirius, he tends to go crazy over beautiful women such as yourself." Spoke James with a flirty grin on his face as he winked at Lily.  
  
Lily blushed. "Thanks. Um.it was nice meeting you all, I'll see you later." Spoke Lily quickly as she left.  
  
Shiz she's hot. thought James.  
  
stupid James.had to go and mess things up real good for me didn't he? Thought Sirius.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Lily walked into a compartment on the Hogwarts Express and spotted her two best friends, Sandy Jameson and Katherine Bell. (A/n No Kat, sorry not named after you unless you want it to be.) She ran over and hugged them. Instantly, the girls jumped up and down, giggling madly.  
  
*~*~*  
  
"Shiz," said James.  
  
"What?" Both looked at him.  
  
"She was so freakin hot."  
  
"Yeah, I know, that's why I asked her out. " said Sirius smugly, which caused him to receive another slap over the head from James. "Hey, don't be hatin (A/N, yes from Malibu's Most Wanted as some of you might now.I am American so thought it would be coolio) just because she was gonna say yes obviously,"  
  
"Oh yes, she was OBVIOUSLY going to say yes," said Peter who had entered the compartment at that moment and was imitating Sirius. This sent James and Remus into a fit of giggles while Peter received death glares from Sirius.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N End of chappie.as you guys noticed.TONS OF AUTHOR'S NOTES!!!!! Sup wit that, you might be asking. This is my first fanfiction and although I stink at it, it's fun but I don't want people to get confused. Let me know about this chappie and whether I should lighten up. AND. REVIEWS!!!!!!!!! I mean 2 isn't exactly something to dance around about.but hey, for a bad writer like me, not bad.  
  
Dan-rad- Yeah thanks. I had, but I realized you had to hit enter twice or it won't show up. (smacks forehead) doh! Thanks! I liked your story.  
  
Lil Rose Angel- Well obviously yes I am (looks around) yeah for sure. I just thought that in this one, James and his father get along well. That his father's name should really be Harold aka Harry. I thought James should name Harry after.well, Harry. Definitely going to continue and I'll talk to you about it in school. Oh and Katherine, Jen's my alias on the web FYI.  
  
AND ALL YOU PEOPLE..REVIEW!!!!!!! Or I shall send a angry mob of hippogriffs after you. Just kidding.  
  
-Jen 


	3. Jamie

Chapter 3- Jamie  
  
"Oh yes, she was OBVIOUSLY going to say yes," said Peter who had entered the compartment at that moment and was imitating Sirius. This sent James and Remus into a fit of giggles while Peter received death glares from Sirius.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The girls had been giggling for a quite a while, when suddenly Sandy stopped giggling. This drew Lily and Katherine aka Katie's attention.  
  
"What's wrong Sanders?" asked Katie.  
  
"Nothing.it's just Lils." said Sandy, a smirk creeping across her face slowly.  
  
"Lils what?" said Lily as she cut off Sandy.  
  
"Lils, we saw you talking to James Potter, Sirius Black and Remus Lupin." Said Sandy.  
  
"Ooooohhhhh! Lily and James sitting in a tree, K I S S I N G. First comes love, then comes marriage then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" teased Sandy and Katie in a sing-songy voice.  
  
Unfortunately for them, as they spoke, James, Remus and Sirius walked into their compartment. (A/N I suppose you're wondering, where's Peter? Can't stand that stupid rat.DIE RAT, YOU HEAR? DIE!!!) The boys' mouths hung open in shock.  
  
"Ooooohhhhhh! Jamie's got a girlfriend, Jamie's got a girlfriend!" sung Sirius while bouncing around the carriage. Remus was laughing at this.  
  
James blushed and said "shutup you prat." He then proceeded to glance at Lily, who went red.  
  
"Excuse the three of us for a minute. I would strongly advise you not to listen into our discourse." Said Lily. "SANDY ELLEN JAMESON AND KATHERINE ASHLEY BELL! I SWARE BY MERLIN'S BEARD, IF YOU EVER, EVER, EVER EMBARRASS ME LIKE THAT AGAIN, THE TWO OF YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR ARSES GETTING KICKED!!! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME??? NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!" fumed Lily.  
  
"Sorry Lils, we thought it was funny. Besides, I think James enjoyed the song." Teased Katie.  
  
"Oh yeah, Jamie boy here doesn't often show it, but he's MADLY in lurve with Lily, aren't you boy?" smirked Sirius. Remus howled with laughter, and James smacked him over the head and told him what a stupid git he was. "OW! What the devil was that for?!" yelled Sirius.  
  
"Lets see.you told a COMPLETE lie, you embarrassed the living hell outta me, and to top it all off, LILY EVANS THINKS I'M SOME CRAZY IDIOT IN LOVE WITH HER!" yelled James.  
  
"Well you are," said Sirius.  
  
"Are they always like this?" asked Sandy.  
  
"Yep. Believe me, it's like a soap opera. But don't mind these two," said Remus smugly to the girls, "for they're just expressing their utmost love and devotion to one another, ain't that right you two?" asked Remus to Sirius and James.  
  
"Shutup Moony" muttered James and Sirius in unison while the girls giggled uncontrollably.  
  
"Oh shiz," said Katie.  
  
"What Kates?" said Lily,  
  
"Uh, Lils, aren't you a prefect?"  
  
"Yeah, and your point is?"  
  
"Aren't you supposed to be in the prefect compartment and getting instructions from the head boy and girl?"  
  
"Been there, done that."  
  
*~*~*  
  
The train stopped, and all the students got out of the train. Lily, Katie, Sandy, Sirius, James and Remus all piled into one carriage.  
  
"See Jamsie pie? We would never separate you from your lover." Said Sirius as he squeezed James' cheeks. Remus smirked, and Lily blushed. James, unfortunately for Sirius, saw Lily blush and called Sirius an idiot. "Hey, just doing my job." said Sirius smugly. This set Katie and Sandy into an anchor presentation of the Lily and James love song; the song above which now included Sirius and Remus singing along.  
  
*~*~*  
  
Wow! Longest so far! Review please. Don't worry, the hippogriff threat has been retired, but I am still thinking of another one, don't worry. ;) I'm sick, so this is the only reason why I could update so quickly.  
  
Lil Rose Angel- Yes it really is me Kat. Well pardon me for living! See, this is so weird. First you give me criticism, and then you're all nice? Tsk tsk Kat, I think you've been hanging around Sirius for too long. Just kidding. Thanks. I will definitely continue. Uh, yeah sure I guess you could copy it. Try using something like * * * or something like that, but go ahead. ^_^.  
  
Dan-rad- Thanks. I think I'm getting the hang of the double spacing bit, slowly though.  
  
HpfanAllTheWay- Thanks, glad you like it!  
  
Bee- (laughs) Thanks Bee! I really am trying to make them sound realistic. Don't worry, so do I. But I would never let that happen, especially not in my own story now would I? Thanks! Long enough? Sorry, I'm sick and I have writer's block.arrggh. 


	4. Back To Hogwarts

Disclaimer- Do I look like J.K. Rowling? No. Do I write like J.K. Rowling? No. Is she even American? No. So saying so, no I am not J.K. Rowling so don't ask. I own only Sandy and Katie (the mom).  
  
Oh and by the way, Katie and Sandy's names are being changed a bit so don't get confused. Also, if I haven't made it clear, they are in their fifth year. I probably didn't make that clear in previous chapters but they are....so yeah.  
  
Chapter 4- Back to Hogwarts  
  
"See Jamsie pie? We would never separate you from your lover." Said Sirius as he squeezed James' cheeks. Remus smirked, and Lily blushed. James, unfortunately for Sirius, saw Lily blush and called Sirius an idiot. "Hey, just doing my job." said Sirius smugly. This set Katie and Sandy into an anchor presentation of the Lily and James love song; the song above which now included Sirius and Remus singing along.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The carriage pulled up, and the six climbed out. They trudged up to the castle, walking together. However, there were two separate conversations going on.  
  
"So Jamsie, are we going to go ahead with the prank?" asked Sirius.  
  
"Of course, and don't call me Jamsie...Siri. " said James smugly.  
  
Sirius ignored the comment, and told James to hurry up and continue. "Right then. Padfoot, remember...you're going to do the hair. Moony, you'll have to do the fireworks. And I, Prongs the great..." said James.  
  
"Prongs the great my arse." Muttered Sirius while Remus snickered.  
  
James pretended not to hear the comment, and just continued. "...shall do transfiguration to finish off the prank."  
  
Meanwhile, the girls were having a conversation of their own. "So...Lillian, what's going on with you and Mr. Potter over there?" asked Sandy smugly.  
  
"Sandrilene," replied Lily, both she and Katie enjoying the look of horror on Sandy's face, "1. My name is LILY not Lillian. 2. There is nothing going on between James and I."  
  
"Oh really, Lillian Sarah Jane Evans! From what I saw...you were enjoying the love song." Smirked Katie.  
  
"Shutup Kathleen Elizabeth Ashley Bell! And FOR YOUR INFORMATION...I was NOT enjoying the love song. But I seem to recall a Miss Katie getting smitten with a certain * cough Remus Lupin cough *." Replied Lily. Sandy sniggered, while a crimson blush crept onto Katie's face. "Oh and Ms. Sandrilene Courtney Patricia Jameson, would you like to share with us what you and Sirius Black were doing?" questioned Lily. Sandy blushed, and Katie laughed at her.  
  
"Yeah, because if I seem to remember, someone was having a bloody brilliant snog, isn't that right Sandy?" smirked Katie.  
  
"Who was having a good snog?" asked Sirius as he, Remus and James joined them all.  
  
"Siri-boy, I think she was talking about you and Sandy." Replied Remus.  
  
"Siri-boy??? Righto Remy. Whatabout me and Sandy?" said Sirius.  
  
"Padfoot you prick, what Moony's trying to say is that you and Sandy were having a snog. Idiot" remarked James.  
  
"Ooooohhhh, why didn't you say so?"  
  
"Dumbass" said Remus.  
  
*~*~*  
  
The six entered the great hall, and sat down at the Gryfffindor table. James, Lily and Remus sat across from Sirius, Sandy and Katie.  
  
Professor McGonagall came out and put a frayed hat onto a stool. The hat sang its song and then McGonagall spoke.  
  
"When I call your name, come and put the hat on your head."  
  
"Yeah yeah lady, get on with the bloody thing already" muttered Sirius as the rest stifled laughs.  
  
McGonagall finished sorting the new first years, and took away the sorting hat.  
  
Professor Dumbledore then stood up, and annouced "Mr. Filch would like to remind all students that the Forbidden Forest is...forbidden" and as he said this he looked at the Marauders especially with a twinkle in his eye.  
  
Sirius stood up and bowed, and James and Remus followed his lead as all the students clapped for them. Lily, Sandy and Katie smirked but clapped all the same.  
  
The Professor finished his speech by adding, "This year's head boy is Jason Wood (A/N...hehehe) and the head girl is Dora Grayson." (A/N YAYSERS DORA! Sorry, having a mental moment)  
  
Dora and Jason stood up for everyone to see, and sat back down to let Dumbledore finish. "The Gryffindor prefects are Lily Evans and Remus Lupin..." Sirius and James groaned.  
  
"Oh shutup you two, like I'd ruin our fun." Said Remus  
  
"You never know Moony" replied James.  
  
"The Slytherin prefects are Severus Snape and Narcissa Black..." continued Dumbledore.  
  
"Damn." James swore under his breath while Sirius and Remus smirked. "The Ravenclaw prefects are Amos Diggory and Alyssa Bailey and the Hufflepuff prefects are Alexandra Chang and Mark Walham." Finished he said, "dig in."  
  
"FINALLY! Took the old man long enough." Said Sirius between mouthfuls of food.  
  
"Congratulations Remus," said Lily.  
  
"Congratulations to you too Lily," said Remus while James shot him a dirty look. James had actually liked Lily since 2nd year except he hadn't had the courage to talk to her, so everyone thought that he never knew she existed. Sirius most definitely hadn't. Remus and Lily were good friends and James envied Remus for it.  
  
"You know what this means Prongs..." said Sirius who knew about James crush on Lily and had seen the dirty look James gave Remus. "Remus'll be spending EVERY hour of EVERY day with your precious Lily." Said Sirius who was dying to piss James off.  
  
"WHAT?!" yelled James. "REMUS BLOODY LUPIN I SWARE BY GODRIC GRYFFINDOR IF YOU EVEN TOUCH HER I WILL KILL YOU!"  
  
"James what the devil are you talking about?" replied Remus calmly.  
  
"YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! DON'T YOU PLAY INNOCENT WITH ME!!!!" screamed James.  
  
Remus sighed and mouthed Lily?  
  
"No, Sachin Tendulkar...OF COURSE YOU IDIOT! WHO ELSE?" yelled James. (A/N Sachin Tendulkar is on the Indian Cricket Team if you don't know...oh and why is James talking about the Indian cricket team? In all honesty I don't know. Oh wait yes I do, its because I'm Indian. But I don't follow cricket so I'll just shutup now. Hehe.)  
  
"James I won't touch her or anything so calm your damn nerves ok?" said Remus. The girls had a confused expression on their faces. Remus told them "you don't want to know." And they were satisfied with that.  
  
"Ok," said James. Sirius was laughing his ass off at this. "SIRIUS BLOODY BLACK WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR? YOU NEARLY GAVE ME A BLOODY HEART ATTACK YOU PRICK!" yelled James into Sirius' ear.  
  
"HAHAHAHAHA I KNOW BUT YOU LOOKED SO FUNNY YELLING AT REMUS AND I HAD TO PISS YOU OFF! I COULDN'T HELP IT!" said Sirius while laughing.  
  
The girls were shooting strange looks at Sirius. Remus saw this and said "don't take it personally, old Padfoot here is a bit off his rocker."  
  
Sirius heard the comment and stopped laughing. "Am not!"  
  
Remus rolled his eyes, while Katie giggled. Remus looked at her, and winked. Katie blushed a scarlet red.  
  
Lily catcalled and Katie hit her arm.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N DONE! Yes I know, it's so short so you're probably all like what the hell? Next chapter will be the prank. That'll take me a while because I have A LOT of things I'm doing right now but I will try to write it and put it up as soon as possible. If you have any suggestions, feel free to put it in your review. Review or else I'll hex you into oblivion.  
  
Quinn- thanksers!  
  
Lil Rose Angel- thanks. Don't ask about Jamie. I'm glad you like that part.  
  
Tiger Lily21- thanks!  
  
Cho-Look-Alike- Yeah! I tried, lol, but thanks. Yeah, now that you mention it...its supposed to hurt like hell but that's just me. ( Hm, is the hex threat better? Let me know.  
  
Grr-krissy-grr- Grr-krissy-grr- Yeah I know. Exactly! You're the first person who's realized that, THANK YOU! lol, I know this wasn't the fastest update ever, but I tried. lol, I will definitely try to update as soon as I can.  
  
Dee Ann- thanks  
  
ChickenLittle- Thanks for your...pleasant comments. I'm glad to hear your opinion but it's obvious that so far you're the only one that thinks that. And I'm sorry you don't like it, but I don't give a damn. However, if others don't like it I will definitely take your advice. 


	5. Caring

Disclaimer- As much as I'd love to be J.K. Rowling, I'm not. So….it is highly advised that you just do what you do, (read and review) and I'll do what I do. (write and respond). Now that we have an agreement, I believe our business here is done.

Also, if I could I would go smack Peter upside the head for being such a dumbass. Since I can't, I guess I'll just have to x him out as a marauder completely. Hehehe I know, I'm evil. But that bastard Peter deserves it.

Chapter 5- Caring

Remus rolled his eyes, while Katie giggled. Remus looked at her, and winked. Katie blushed a scarlet red.

Lily catcalled and Katie hit her arm.

*~*~*

After this, Sirius, Remus and James left the table and exited the great hall. Sirius flicked his wand and pointed it at the Slytherins: so did Remus and James.

The girls were eating, when Sandy looked up. She saw the Slytherins and burst out laughing. Everyone looked to see what was so funny, and they all doubled over in laughter. Katie sprayed pumpkin juice all over Remus, and Lily doubled over in laughter. She was laughing so hard that James had to stop her from falling off the bench.

At her laughter, Severus Snape came prancing up to James in a bright pink mowhawk, pink lipstick, black heeled boots and a jean skirt and said, "James Tristan Potter, you are devilishly attractive. Will you marry me?"

Lily roared in laughter, where as James put on a huge grin at seeing her laugh.

Lucius Malfoy strode to the front of the great hall with his hair red and gold, Gryffindor robes and the Gryffindor lion draped over his shoulder like a cape. He stopped in front of the Slytherin table. "Yo mommas so fat, when they walk through them doors, they asses get stuck in that door." There was thunderous applause from the Gryffindors, while the Slytherins were glaring at the Marauders.

Narcissa Black reached for her goblet, and as soon as her lips touched the rim, there was a cloud of smoke, and Narcissa disappeared. In her place was a ugly hag with fireworks coming from her head. The words "Bitchy. Deal with it." were formed. Katie was gasping for air at this point. Sirius applauded this part the loudest because his cousin was such a pain in the ass for him, he wanted her exposed for what she really was: a hag and a bitch.

Rodulphus Lestrange strode over to Sirius and pulled out a black rose. "Sirius baby, when was the last time we had a good shag?" Sandy was having a laughing seizure.

The whole great hall was exploding in laughter minus the Slytherins, and Professor McGonagall. "I believe this prank is thanks to the Marauders. Thank you for that…delightful prank," said Dumbledore winking at the three. "The rest of you please proceed to your dorms."

The great hall erupted with applause and the three stood up and bowed. Snape had snapped out of his trance, saw himself and hissed, "Potter you will not get away with this and don't think that just because you wanna get into your mudblood's (A/N ACK!!! There! I SAID THE BLOODY WORD!!! AHHHH!!!) pants, I'm gonna be nice to her."

James lost it and whipped out his wand. "Snape, you bastard, take that back," James didn't wait for a response. "Expelliar…"

Before James could disarm Snape, Lily stood up and covered his mouth. "Snape, sod off." Snape scowled at her and stalked off.

She pulled James down beside her. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I don't want you getting in a fight, especially not on the first day," replied Lily. Before James could open his mouth, she added, "And if you do get in a fight, I don't want it to be about me."

"Awwwwww, Lilykins, we didn't know you cared." said Sirius sarcastically.

Lily blushed, and excused herself. She walked, rather _strode_, out of the Great Hall. Sandy and Katie got up and followed her.

"DAMMIT SIRIUS!" roared James as soon as the girls were was out of earshot.

Sirius smirked. "What the hell was that for? Look what you did! You just HAD to open that godforsaken mouth of yours and embarrass Lily didn't you?"

"Now I seriously didn't know you cared," added Sirius while James scowled at him. Remus cocked his eyebrow. "Seriously!" (A/N no pun intended)

Remus snorted. "Bullocks."

*~*~*

[in the dorm]

Lily had just come through the door. She jumped on to her bed and was blushing.

"Oh for godssake Lils, get over it!" exclaimed Sandy.

"Oh so you wouldn't find it the LEAST bit embarrassing that he said that IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE GREAT HALL!"

"Uh…no." said Sandy while flipping through an old Seventeen magazine.

"For a minute I forgot it was you I was talking to." replied Lily.

Sandy threw her magazine, which hit Lily in the head.

"Ow!"

"You deserved it."

*~*~*

Downstairs, the Marauders were walking upstairs. (A/N downstairs, upstairs….hehehe. ok I'll shutup now.)

"What do we have first?" asked James.

"Dunno." said Sirius. Remus was about to respond but Sirius beat him to it. He strode over to a nearby group of girls and turned his "charming" smile on.

"Pardon me, but would any of you lovely ladies happen to know what we have first period?" asked Sirius while winking at a few of them.

The girls giggled. Some blushed, while others fainted. One responded, "We have Transfiguration first, and Charms after."

"Thanks baby," winked Sirius. With that, he walked back to James and Remus.

"Brilliant Padfoot, ruddy brilliant!" said James while clapping him on the back.

"Padfoot you dumbass, I could've told you that," mumbled Remus as he followed James and Sirius. Sirius was oblivious to this and James couldn't hear Remus."

The three walked into Transfiguration but what they saw next made all of them stare.

*~*~*

A/N Done!!! My computer is SOOOO slow right now so it might take a while before anything else goes up. Thanks to all who reviewed and for those who didn't, please do! I'd like comments about my work because I know I'm no J.K. Rowling.

Lil Rose Angel- lol, good. I'm glad that chapter had you at a loss for words, ;). No her last name is Bowman, but I just changed it. Greyson…original, eh? I think you should write a James/Harry fic if you want to. WAITAMINUTE…JAMES/HARRY???? What the hell?

Dee Ann- Thanks! I know this isn't the fastest but I hope you weren't waiting too long! Happy Valentine's Day to you too!

Katie- Thanks! Well I try. Let me know if he gets kinda corny. He only acts like this because I, too, am a HUGE joker at school so it comes easy.


	6. Guy Talk

Disclaimer-

Me- Hiya Jamsie! Do I own you?

James- Hi whoeverthehellyouaregetawayfrommeyoupsychoticfreak! No you don't.

Me- I don't?

James- (sigh) No you don't.

Me- damn.

Oh and there is this bloody brilliant story by Oy Angelina. Go check it out, it's called Pensieve. Unfortunately, she has decided not to update because she has other obligations, but I still strongly advise you to read it. It's amazing.

Chapter 6- Guy Talk

The three walked into Transfiguration but what they saw next made all of them stare.

*~*~*

Their classroom was silent. Dead silent.

"Messrs. Potter, Lupin and Black. Thank you for….gracing us with your presence. There's three of you late, and class started 10 minutes ago. That's 10 points for each of you, meaning there shall be 30 points off Gryffindor." spoke a cold voice. "Now please sit down."

James, Remus and Sirius had their mouths hanging open. Remus was the first one to recover. He just looked down at the floor and walked to his seat. James and Sirius followed, still in disbelief.

When the lesson went underway, Sirius took advantage to hiss to James, "what the DEVIL is Cici doing here?" Delia Cictus, also known as "Cici" to the students, was their Potions professor…and quite a mean one at that. She constantly stalked about, trying to trip up her students, looking for any excuse to take points off. She was also the head of Slytherin. She was biased.

"Do I look like I know?"

"Yes."

"Shutup Sirius."

James turned his head back to the board.

"As you all know, your O.W.L.'s are this year…."

****

You don't say… appeared on James' paper. James grinned.

"I shall warn you that Professor McGonagall accepts only those who score O's on their O.W.L.'s into her N.E.W.T. class. Although, I highly doubt that anyone in this class would do so." Her eyes wandered around the room, and landed on James and Sirius.

Oooohhh, watch out Padfoot! The scary Cici monster is coming to get you! wrote James. Sirius sniggered and Remus smirked.

It was no surprise to any of the boys that Cictus had settled her gaze on them. Everyone knew that Cictus had it in for the Marauders, after the dungbomb they had set off in her office in 2nd year. Unfortunately, she had walked into her office at the same time, and didn't catch them. However, one of her students tipped her off. Fortunately for Remus though, the student hadn't seen him, but the three never found out who had sold them out.

Lily turned around, and saw that it was James. She scowled. James fake scowled back, and winked. Lily blushed and turned around.

Remus, I think our ickle Jamsies got a lover. 

Yeah we better watch out, the last thing we want is a James Jr…

Sirius bit his lip.

Shutup you perverts.

And how, my dear Prongs, are we perverts? 

You can't blame Padfoot and I because you two are hitting it off. If you ask me, I think our dear prefect enjoyed it.

Sirius stifled a laugh. James shot dirty looks at both of them.

Sirius shutup. You are perverts because you were thinking about a baby. And Remus, no one did ask your opinion so shutup. Tsk tsk, someone doesn't pay attention. Remus only said that there was a baby. He never said that he was thinking about you two making one. 

Sirus has a point., a good one for once. James, I'm your friend, and as long as I am your friend, I'll continue to put my part in.

It was James turn to stifle a laugh.

HEY! I resent that! I have good points sometimes! Oh yeah! Name five. ****

Damn!

Haha. Thanks Remus. 

No problem, just saying the truth.

The twisted truth. 

To who and what army?

To me and the great and mighty Padfoot army. 

James and Remus snorted quietly.

James, what do you think the odds are that we can beat this "great and mighty Padfoot army"?

I'd say we have a pretty high chance.

Yeah right. Well it's true! My ass it is. 

Don't blame this on your ass. Blame it on the rock in your head you call a brain.

James almost laughed out loud.

Shutup Moony. 

"…turn to page 45 in your textbooks, and follow the instructions."

The boys turned their pages, and went back to writing.

Make me.

Ohhhh, he told you Padfoot! You gonna take that?

I would shut up if I were you Moony. Because you don't seem to have a brain either. You seem to have a "baffoon" as muggles say. 

What do you have to say to that Moony?

Firstly, it's a "balloon", not a "baffoon".

Haha Sirius

Secondly, at least I'm not on academic probation in Herbology.

OHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

James, shutup. Remus, see this is where your brain gets you in trouble. You are too smart. 

Am not.

Deny it as much as you want but it's true. 

Prove it.

Alright. If you weren't so smart, you wouldn't have known the "balloon" thing. 

It's called "paying attention" Padfoor.

James was biting his lip. Sirius looked deep in thought, and Remus looked calm. He was leaning back with a triumphant smirk on his face. 

Apparently Sirius decided to ignore the previous remark, for then some more words appeared on the parchments.

And Moony, it's called special privileges: what you don't have. 

Oh he told you Moony!

The "special privileges" are what's putting you on Quidditch probation.

You got Quidditch probation.

Uhoh. 

Now you're in for it Padfoot.

Oh thanks Remus. 

We have the first match of the season in TWO WEEKS, AND YOU LAND YOURSELF ON PROBATION?! YOU MORON!

Prongs, I bet I can convince McGonagall to let me off. She wants the cup as much as we do. 

THAT'S NOT THE BLOODY POINT! YOU KNEW! YOU KNEW WE HAD A MATCH YET YOU LANDED YOURSELF IN PROBATION ANYWAY!

James was the captain of the Gryffindor team, and was VERY strict about it.

James, calm down. I'm sure Sirius will be let off probation.

FINE OK! JUST MAKE SURE YOU TWO ARE AT PRACTICE OR ELSE!

James was beet red while scribbling furiously. The bell rang, and the boys grabbed their stuff and ran out of the classroom. James was the first one out, with Sirius and Remus hot on his heels.

*~*~*

LILY POV

What's the spell for transfiguring a mouse? Uh…oh well I might as well start trying spells. I mean JAMES POTTER is the best at Transfiguration. So what the heck. I tapped the mouse, and a soft squeak came from it. Great. A rubber mouse. James would NEVER let me live this down. Quickly, I transfigured it back before he saw.

A loud bell rang through the room. Thank Merlin, class was over. I packed my stuff in my bag. I looked up and the first one out of class, rather _racing_ out of class was James. Remus and Sirius were hot on James's heels. Strange but I'm not going to ask.

*~*~*

THIRD PERSON

Lily grabbed her bag and met Sandy and Katie outside.

"Did you see James?" asked Lily.

"Why, looking for a shag with your lover boy?" asked Katie and Sandy made smooching noises.

Lily blushed scarlet. "No. It's because he raced out, and looked in a right temper."

"Oh now she CARES about him!" said Sandy, acting fondly. Katie laughed.

"Oh shutup you two. Remus and Sirius were chasing after him you know."

At the mention of Sirius, Sirius came strutting down the halls.

"Hello ladies,"

Sandy blushed, and Lily hit Sandy's shoulder.

"What do you want Sirius?" asked Katie.

"Who said I wanted anything? Can't a man talk to three gorgeous ladies for pleasure?"

"No." replied Katie. Sandy smacked her shoulder. Katie, rubbing the sore shoulder, said, "What?"

"What are you up to Sirius?" cut in Lily.

"Who said I was up to anything?"

"Sirius…" warned Lily.

"Well I was wondering if any of you lot had seen Jamesies."

"No. Why?"

"Because I want to ask him for a good shag."

"Bollocks to that," muttered Lily. Katie smirked.

"Jealous are we Lily?" asked Katie with a triumphant look on her face.

Lily blushed and muttered something about the bathroom.

"Really though, Sirius," said Katie after Lily left. "Why are you looking for James."

"Oh I'm not looking for James…James is looking for me."

"What…" asked Katie but she was cut off by a yell down the hall.

*~*~*

A/N Fin! Is this my longest chapter yet? I think so…anyhoos. Thanks to all reviewers and I am already writing the next few chapters.

Lil Rose Angel- you never asked! Hehe. Thanks. It was hard thinking of Snape. He had to be the funniest (obviously) but it was hard. No I didn't need to know that. OH THANKS KATHERINE! Fine be like that. Just go on and be like that. I mean yes I am like Sirius..but DON'T SAY THAT TO EVERYONE! MY GOD! HAVE YOU NO RESPECT? Jk jk. Well you coulda said that before. MY SICK MIND??? YOU ARE THE ONE WHO SAID JAMES/HARRY! Jesus.

Stargirlr- Aww…thanks! I'll try!

rs- haha. Sorry for keeping you waiting! Enjoy.

bk- thanks! Haha bollocks to that. But that's ok. The Bears are ok I guess…I just like Green Bay better. ;)

Dee Ann- lol so do i…but I write them anyway. Strange. Haha I get that a lot so don't worry. J no problem. Thanks back!

Queenofdespair216- yes definitely! Very stupid. But hey! Without Sirius…there's no Marauders right?

RawBean- LOL! We think alike. It was no problem! Nice stories though! Yeah I am..but I am never too busy to review a story. ;). I would not say that I'm worth a shot…but I do feel special! lol, thanks!

Who is yelling? Hm…don't know. Tune in for the next episode of….dun dun dunnnn…..NOT YOUR AVERAGE!!! jk jk…I am such a dork.


	7. Pink Hair, Knickers, and Girl Troubles

Disclaimer- J.K. Rowling first wrote Harry Potter on napkins. I am now carrying on with whatever she's said already ON THE WEB! THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NAPKINS AND WEB! "Web" is three letters. "Napkins" is seven. Do you SEE the difference?

(To put it simply, I'm trying to say that I DON'T OWN JAMES, LILY, REMUS, SIRIUS ETC. SO IF YOU ASK ME HOW I CAME UP WITH IT, I WILL SEND A HERD OF ANGRY CENTAURS AFTER YOU, YA HEAR? I only own Sandy and Cictus.)

That was one hell of a long disclaimer. Now on with the story.

Chapter 7 – Pink Hair, Knickers, and Girl Troubles

"Really though, Sirius," said Katie after Lily left. "Why are you looking for James."

"Oh I'm not looking for James…James is looking for me."

"What…" asked Katie but she was cut off by a yell down the hall.

"SIRIUS BLOODY BLACK!" yelled a stark raving mad James who strode down the hall and shoved Sirius against the wall. "WHAT in Merlin's name did you DO to MY HAIR????"

"Yes it's quite genius, wouldn't you say? I thought you needed something different, and I daresay the ladies quite like it," winked Sirius at a couple of passing girls.

"Like it? LIKE IT? MY HAIR HAS "I LOVE LILY EVANS" SPRAYED ON IT….IN RED!!!!" And with that, James shoved Sirius again, for his ears were now a bright shade of red, along with his cheeks and his face.

"Now James, you wouldn't commit a murder in front of such beautiful women would you?" asked Sirius with a hint of amusement. "And besides, it brings out your cheeks!" Sirius squeezed James' bright red cheeks and ran down the hall.

"SIRIUS!!!!!!!!" roared James, and went in pursuit of Sirius.

(LILY POV)

"Ooohhh, Sirius is gonna get it!" said Katie with amusement, while Sandy giggled.

"Why? What happened?" I walked from the bathroom, fixing my hair messily.

Katie smirked.

Uhoh. W_hy do I get the feeling that I DON'T want to hear this?_

"James had red writing on his pink hair," grinned Katie.

And your point is… I gave Katie a look which voiced my thoughts exactly.

Katie sighed. "My 'point', you idiot, is that it had 'I love Lily Evans' sprayed on in red."

No. fucking. way. "You CANNOT be serious."

"You're right, she's not. He is." Giggled Sandy, while she pointed at Sirius.

What is up with that joke? "Haha, not funny."

"Sorry."

Sirius ran by with James not too far behind.

"Looking good, Evans," said James in a hurry.

I blushed. I looked down and then…what? Oh. Shit.

"What?" smirked Sandy.

"His. head." I said, slightly annoyed.

"Sirius."

Oh. Sirius. That's it. That's the final bleeding straw.

"SIRIUS BLACK, YOU SON OF A BLUDGER, GET BACK HERE!" I roared, and raced after Sirius.

JAMES POV

That's right James. You tell him. Tell that sodding bastard.

I looked to my right, and saw a red head slowly coming past me.

"Thanks, Potter!"

"Where are you going in a hurry?"

She grinned. "Look at your friend Black one last time, coz he's about to be dog shit."

Uhoh. She did NOT just say DOG shit.

I looked at her again. She winked and raced by.

Dammit. She did. And now that I think of something else…for a girl who's not on the quidditch team, she is fast as hell.

THIRD PERSON

"SIRIUS BLACK!" Lily pulled Sirius by the shoulder and shoved him against the wall.

"Yes, love?" smirked Sirius.

Lily scowled. "You sodding bastard." And she punched him.

James was still running at full speed and stopped in front of Lily and Sirius, just in time to see Sirius receive his new black eye.

James let his jaw drop.

"What in Merlin's name was that for?"

"It was for embarrassing Potter and I."

Sirius rubbed his jaw. "Really? I embarrassed you? Damn, I am good." Sending a cocky smile towards Lily.

Lily, unfazed, smacked him round the face. "Let me just warn you, Sirius Black, that if you EVER write my name in a declaration of love on someone's head again, I shall castrate you personally." And with that, Lily Evans turned on her heel, and walked swiftly away from James and Sirius.

"Well that was interesting." Muttered Sirius.

James' jaw was still hanging. "Not as 'interesting' as you will be unless you take this bloody writing off my head!"

Sirius grinned. "Oh yeah, sorry James." Sirius flicked his wand. "I daresay, you've turned the ladies on quite a bit, Prongs." Said Sirius while winking at a few girls.

James rolled his eyes. "Shutup Sirius."

LILY POV

That Sirius Black. Oh, that Sirius Black. He makes me SO mad sometimes! I just feel like SHOOTING him.

I stopped nearby a wall and kicked it.

OW!!!!

I hopped around on one foot, wincing in pain.

"Lily, are you ok?" asked Remus, amused.

"Shutup Remus." I muttered.

"I'm sorry, didn't quite catch that."

"I'm fine. Dandy. Just peachy, thank you." I said in a false tone that didn't belong to me.

He smirked.

"Alright. If you're sure, then I'll just leave you here." He turned and walked off.

Damn you and that smirk, Remus J. Lupin.

Good. You do that Remus. But I didn't respond. Instead, I tried to hop by myself. I landed up in a heap on the floor.

"Are you sure you're ok?"

I looked up and saw a hand reaching out to me.

"You're not going to leave me alone are you?"

He smirked again. "No."

I sighed, and took his hand. He pulled me up and led me down the hall, supporting me so I didn't tip over.

Damn you and that smirk double, Remus J. Lupin.

As we walked, or hopped in my case, down the hall, I caught sight of Katie.

"Oh shit!"

Remus, puzzled, said, "Is everything ok, Lily?"

"Everything's just fine, if you count the fact that Katie Bell is going to kick my ass as fine."

"Oh?" he said with a hint of…amusement?

"Why would she kick your ass?"

Coz she's madly in love with YOU, you son of a bludger!

"Coz she has a problem with the Marauders and doesn't like them at all."

"Oh, like you don't like the Marauders at all?"

I sent him what I call THE LOOK, which you can also classify as a dangerous glare, signifying the fact that I'm rather irritated.

"I'll take that as a yes."

I rolled my eyes, and pulled away from him.

He didn't stop me.

So I tried by myself.

You can do this, Lily, come on.

I took a hop.

There ya go! Now try again.

I took another hop.

You're doing good, Lily!

I took another hop.

Alright, let's go for two in a row!

One.

Two.

I buckled and fell.

"Gotcha."

He smirked at me again.

Damn you and that bleeding smirk TRIPLE, Remus J. Lupin.

He carried me down the hall.

"REMUS J. LUPIN, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" I screamed. "PUT ME DOWN!"

He smiled. "No."

'No'? Oh, it's on NOW, Lupin! You are gonna wish you never messed with me!

"Fine."

And then I pantsed him.

"LILY! WHAT THE HELL????"

He dropped me, and I hit the floor, getting a not-so-nice-unless-you-were-Katie view of Remus' knickers.

I got up in record time, and hopped over to Sandy and Katie who were looking out of breath and pissed off.

"I'll explain later, but let's just get to the dormitory."

"Good, coz you got LOTS of explaining to do. Like, for example, WHY YOU WERE IN REMUS LUPIN'S ARMS?" Katie yelled at the top of her lungs.

Sandy pulled me, and put her hand over Katie's mouth to shut her up.

"Move along, folks, nothing to see here! Hehe, nope, nothin!" said an embarrassed Sandy.

"Hinkydunks."

"Very good dear!" said the Fat Lady, approvingly.

"LILY!"

I turned around to see Remus with his pants ON, attempting to run up a staircase full of students, with James and Sirius not so far behind.

"Oh shit, run!" I said.

So we ran. Sandy like hell. Katie pissed off. And me, running as fast as my injured foot would allow me.

We ran up the staircase, and locked our dormitory door. We then shut all the windows, and the bathroom window as a precaution.

"Lily, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND REMUS!" screamed Katie.

"KATIE SHUTUP AND LISTEN, LILY'S GONNA EXPLAIN!"

We both looked at Sandy in awe. My Sandy. My ickle Sanders was yelling. At me and Katie. Now I've seen it all.

"Sorry."

I recovered as fast as I could from the shock, and explained everything, from me slapping Sirius, to kicking the wall, to Remus' smirk and my LOOK, to pantsing him, to now.

"My god!" said Katie. "I am SO sorry for yelling at you like that! I have such a big respect for you now!"

"Of course you do! Now get me some ice."

"Accio Ice."

An ice block came zooming out of nowhere. I wrapped it in a paper towel and put it on my foot.

"Ah. Much better."

Katie grinned. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have some serious Remus butt to kick."

"You're joking. YOU! Kick REMUS' BUTT!"

"Yeah! You think I'd miss a chance to get a good look at his fine arse!"

I snorted. 'Fine arse' my arse.

Katie left.

"Oh we have to see this. You coming?"

I hopped over to the door. "Are you kidding? Katie killing Remus? I wouldn't miss it."

COMMON ROOM

"Did you SEE that?"

"If you mean your knickers, yeah I saw them about half a mile away." Said James. Sirius sniggered.

Remus threw a pillow at James. "Shutup."

Sirius stopped sniggering. "Uhoh."

"What?"

"I'd start running if I were you mate, 'coz it looks like your girl troubles have just begun."

"I don't have girl troubles Padfoot. And besides, why should I begin to run?"

"Because Katie Bell's on her way over, and she looks mighty pissed at you."

Remus turned. "Oh."

"REMUS J. LUPIN, WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, PICKING ON LILY LIKE THAT?"

"Katie, I never picked on her." Remus said calmly.

Katie remained oblivious to Remus' point of view, and continued. "Poor Lily was CRYING when she came upstairs. CRYING, Remus, CRYING! That is the rudest thing I have EVER seen in my life. Making a GIRL cry! I never! I thought YOU would have better sense than to sink so low to make a girl cry!"

"Katie, Lily wasn't crying."

"Really? Then why is she crying now?" Katie pointed to Lily.

"Lily," hissed Sandy, "cry!"

Lily began to sob uncontrollably.

Katie rushed to Lily's side. "Shhh, it's ok. Remus is just a big, mean, bully."

"Yeah Lily, don't listen to that overgrown, conceited, self-absorbed prick." Said Sandy, as she patted Lily's shoulders.

"But it wasn't fair! I..I..I was just sitting there, and then he starts YELLING at me…for NO good reason!" bawled Lily.

At this point, all the other girls in the common room, came to Lily's side.

"Oh Lily," said one girl, Patricia Harper. "Don't listen to Remus. He's just mean, so don't listen to him."

Lily sniffled. "Really?"

"Really." Said another girl, Caroline Davis. "Come have ice cream with us. It'll make you feel better if you talk about it."

Lily stopped crying, and said, sadly, "Thanks guys."

"Yeah, come on Lily, you don't need him." Said Sandy softly.

Lily got up slowly. "OK, but I'd just like to talk to Katie and Sandy alone first."

Caroline nodded. "It's ok, we understand Lily, but anytime you need us, we're here."

Lily smiled a little, in appreciation. "Katie, will you come too?"

Katie smiled gently. "Yes, I just have some…" she looked in Remus' direction. "'unfinished business' to attend to."

Lily nodded, and all the girls walked towards their dorm.

"Remus I hope you realize the damage you've inflicted upon Lily. And I just want to know: what did she EVER do to you? Nothing. Think about it Remus." And Katie walked up the stairs with a sniffling Lily.

"Yeah she did nothing. Nothing except expose my knickers to half of Hogwarts," muttered Remus, loud enough for only James and Sirius to hear.

They started cracking up.

"You know, Evans is a pretty good actress." Said James.

"Tell me about it." Said Remus, who pulled out a chocolate frog, and ate it.

"Alright, I'll tell you about it!" said Sirius, who had been waiting for the chance to annoy Remus. "First, Lily, pantsed you, and then she…"

James roared with laughter as Sirius counted off the things Lily had done on his fingers.

"Shutup Padfoot." Said Remus, swallowing his chocolate frog.

GRYFFINDOR GIRLS 5th YEAR DORMITORY

"Haha! DID YOU SEE THAT!" roared Sandy.

"Yeah I know! And the EXPRESSION on REMUS' FACE! HA! That was priceless!" laughed Lily.

Katie giggled. "Lily, you were great at acting!"

Lily stood up and mock bowed. "Thank you, thank you! I'm here till Sunday."

The three of them laughed again.

"At least I got a picture." Said Katie.

"YOU DID!" said Sandy excitedly. "SHOW US!"

Katie pulled it out, and grinned.

Lily pulled a pillow and tried to stifle the laughter coming out. "Katie, for my birthday, I want that picture, FRAMED."

"You got it!" winked Katie. "And now, I say we celebrate, by going off for another round of onthewaytotheschoolkitchensweshouldactagainandsaythatwe'recomfortinglilybutinsteadwe'repiggingoutonicecream. All in favor, say 'Aye'."

"Aye." Said Sandy raising her hand.

"Aye Aye, Captain!" said Lily, as she saluted Katie.

"Now that's what I like to hear!" said Katie as Lily and Sandy giggled.

Whew! That was a lot! Sorry this took so long. However, I'm sorta disappointed that I only got 3 reviews. L . Sorry if I haven't been writing as well as I should've. Anyhoos, if you want to be emailed about updates, just say that in your review, and I'll add you to an email list! So basically, whenever I update, you'll get mail!

Next chapter; the aftermath of their prank on Remus.

Oh and just for the record:

Lily/James (they don't know it yet)

Sandy/Sirius (so far, only Sandy likes him)

Katie/Remus (once again only Katie)

Responses to reviews:

blubbly – hey! No problem, I liked it! Yeah I know, I'm trying to straighten things out a bit. Thanks for reviewing!

GwEnDoLyN P. MaLfOy – (blushes) thanks! I've never had someone say that about my writing, so I'm touched! Sorry this took so long!

Dee Ann- Thanks! Sorry this took so long!

Well this was definitely my longest chapter so far: 12 pages! If I get lots of reviews, I'll update in say, a week or so! 10 is all I'm asking!


	8. Author's Note

Hey you all, just a quick update. I really don't like the way this story is taking form. It's rather, unpurposeful. I'll leave it up for you to read, but I probably won't rewrite it. If you want to look at the new stories I've written, look up inexertia. Thanks for reviewing


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